Undeniably the greatest sitcom starring Zac Braff to run for 182 episodes between October 2, 2001 and March 17, 2010, Scrubs holds a firm place in so many of our hearts. In fact, the only things that are more feverishly entrenched in the four chambers of our favourite hollow muscular organ than our favourite show are blood and our love of So-And-So, the character who made the world swoon. To celebrate our love of So-And-So, the greatest character in Scrubs history, here are twelve times So-And-So was our favourite character in Scrubs, just in time for Christmas!
1). I think all we need to say is ‘Episode 78’ and all Scrubs fans will know the moment we’re talking about. It had been a period of heartbreak in the show, with something bad happening to fan-favourite Stethoscope Man and the tragic death of The Girl With One Arm. So it only made So-And-So’s triumphant day all the more triumphant. Who can forget the look on So-And-So’s face as he pulled that pig out of the pie? An absolute classic Scrubs moment.
2). Puppy show. Shovel. Sarah Jalapeno. Klingon. I think all true Scrubs fans know what we’re talking about, and are probably laughing so hard right now they just crushed their abdomen.
3). Christmas 2006. All we really wanted was a Nintendo Wii, but that was the case for millions of other kids in the country that year. The family was going through a rough time, seeing as dad had just been let go from his job as a financial analyst after he predicted the housing market would collapse the following year and the company would have to lose 70% of their employees in the next 12 months, and suggested they make a head start on the competition. The ‘turkey’ was just the fifth letter of the alphabet made by a bloke from a difficult-to-stereotype European country (Google tells me national characteristics of the Turkish include “Overreacting”).
And then, on the morning itself, we came downstairs, and saw no Wii-shaped box. But it was OK. We loved our parents regardless. We would go on. Then we opened our first present… It was better than we ever could have hoped… A genuine jar of Mario creator Shigeru Miyamoto’s urine! Dad had misunderstood the console’s name, and bought a plane ticket to Kyoto, especially to track Shigsy down and go out drinking with him! We were so overwhelmed by the sentiment that we didn’t mind that this was the first step on dad’s path’s to alcoholism! This was such a heart-warming moment, that there was no way So-And-So wasn’t our favourite character in Scrubs!
4). About three minutes ago when we realised how weird it is recounting personal memories using the Verbal Discharge ‘we’. Damn you, first-person imperfect-collective tense, why can’t you be as perfect as So-And-So from Scrubs?
5). Who can forget the episode of Scrubs where So-And-So has to deal with the antics? Man, with all those antics going down, there’s absolutely no doubt So-And-So is our favourite character! Can you imagine those antics WITHOUT So-And-So? It basically isn’t even antics at all!
6). Thursday, whilst we were waiting in line at Greggs near closing time, only to learn they were out of cheese and bean pasties. So-And-So was our favourite character in Scrubs whilst all of this was happening.
7). So-And-So loved things, and so whenever he didn’t have any things, you felt heartbroken, because you just related to So-And-So so much. During the Season 7 arc where So-And-So was suddenly unable to touch things outside of the hospital the show was probably set in, we cried each and every episode. Over and over. We cried so much that our collective girlfriend left us for being too soft, which really didn’t help the situation.
8). Gran’s funeral.
9). During the episode where So-And-So and Kenneth Ticklepants play a real-life game of Frogger. It’s exactly the kind of antics we know we’d all get up to if we were in the loveable probably hospital-set world of Scrubs, but they get to live it for real, because So-And-So and Kenny really do! The bit where Kenneth Ticklepants actually does tickle his pants… Oh man. Six seasons of build up, perfectly realised, and So-And-So’s reaction is just priceless.
10). The bit in the third Harry Potter film where Hermione punches Draco in the face. Man, So-And-So was so much fun in that scene. He just knocked it out of the park. Like in Episode 32, where he hit a home run to win the World Series title!
11). So-And-So became the hero we need. The hero we want. The hero in our hearts. The hero who surpassed blood as the most important inhabitant of our ventricle system. As each episode came to a close, we would just sit, turn the TV off, and wait on the spot for next week, when the show would come back on so we could get our next hit of So-And-So. So-And-So is the reason I continue to breathe, and Scrubs is what gives me life. Long may it continue. Even though the show ended six years ago, it lives on in the souls of myself and everyone else who ever saw So-And-So pick up a waffle iron and wave it around shouting “I’m a trout!”. Scrubs shall truly end, and So-And-So shall never die.
I have never seen an episode of Scrubs.